(seventeen) on meditation

He sat meditating. He/I prefer breathing meditation. It lacks the superfluous stuff, and I think it’s harder. So it’s more interesting. But I’d never say that.
Meditation used to be just about sitting quietly.
Then it was about breathing.
And it was about returning to the breath.
But that was a via towards sitting quietly. That was what I always kind of returned to.
So instead I made it about the breathing. Really the breathing. Active instead of passive.
And tonight I became aware of something else. A spiritual body? I’m not sure what to call it. There was a definitive moment when I all of a sudden became aware of it. Of this thing that I carry along with me. A body that maybe I ride in, the way that my brain rides in my physical body?
I’m really not sure. This is all new.
But I felt it all of a sudden settle like a balaclava over my face and head. And I mean with the confining, stranguling elements of that as well. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it covered. Like a coat of very thick paint. Or warm pancake batter.
I wonder if esp and other spiritual tricks don’t happen because it’s glopped all over my head and no where else. I tried to reach out a pseudopod of it, and maybe that worked. I reached out for my phone so I could see how long I’m been meditating for. I reached for the table (where I usually put it) but found it empty. Then I remembered I’d placed it on the floor next to me. But I’d found the table empty.
Anyway – that’s it. Maybe nothing. But the experience was new.

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